Gimme!

"A Business man while out of town decided to play a little golf after a short work day. He did not know any golfers in this town so he decided to go out to the course and get paired up there. When he arrived there were no guys ready to play but there was a very nice looking lady waiting for a foursome. He decided (at the suggestion of the club) to pair up with the lady. While playing the first 17 holes the two got to be real chummy but were shooting as poor a game as either had seen in years. They were both getting very frustrated with their games. On the 18th a par 4 the game was about to finish on a good note as they both were on in 2. When they arrived on the green they saw that this was the worst green that either had ever seen. This green slopped away from the cup with a very rolling surface. He was about twenty-nine feet away and she twenty-six. He looked over the green and was very frustrated. He said, 'If I make this shot I'll buy us dinner tonight.' He hit and the ball rolled over the bump down through the grove around the short hill and up passed the cup and slowed. Just as it looked as though he had missed the put, the slope of the green helped and the ball rolled back into the cup. He made a great shot. Not to be outdone the lady tried to line up her shot. She said, 'If I make this shot I'll invite you to my place for drinks after dinner." The guy interrupted her put saying, "Wait! Let me help you line up the shot." He walked all over the green trying to find the groove. He suddenly smiled walked over to the ball, grabbed it up and said, "That is a gimmy if I ever saw one.""

Funny Golf joke

"Two Scottish golfers are just about to putt out on the 16th green, which is adjacent to a road, when suddenly a funeral procession passes by. Whereupon one of the golfers, Mr. McGregor, interrupts his putting, takes off his hat and bows to the procession. His partner says, 'That was really gentlemanly of you - paying your respects like that!' McGregor: 'Well, she WAS my wife for 25 years...'"