The Rules of Golf

The True Rules Of Golf

* Non chalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
* The shortest distance beween any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
* There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the
way you meant to play it.
* You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch
90% of the time.
* Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
* If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
* To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph."

Slow golfers are ahead

Slow golfers are ahead: "Slow golfers are ahead of us
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. 'Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,' complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked 'what's wrong?' It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired'"