Women's Golf Now

Hi everyone

We finally got the new version of Women's Golf Now up and running. We have a completely redesigned look and feel, and we've finally started adding lots of golfing goodies aimed at women which can be bought through our site.

We are also happy to announce that we have a few new sections to the site to provide you with a better golfing experience! We now advertise Golf Resorts from all around the globe, and we have a very nice jokes section with some really funny golf related jokes.

In the next day or so we'll have a video section up and running as well, where you'll see all kinds of golf related video clips.

If you have a golfing site yourself, feel free to exchange links with ours!

Gimme!

"A Business man while out of town decided to play a little golf after a short work day. He did not know any golfers in this town so he decided to go out to the course and get paired up there. When he arrived there were no guys ready to play but there was a very nice looking lady waiting for a foursome. He decided (at the suggestion of the club) to pair up with the lady. While playing the first 17 holes the two got to be real chummy but were shooting as poor a game as either had seen in years. They were both getting very frustrated with their games. On the 18th a par 4 the game was about to finish on a good note as they both were on in 2. When they arrived on the green they saw that this was the worst green that either had ever seen. This green slopped away from the cup with a very rolling surface. He was about twenty-nine feet away and she twenty-six. He looked over the green and was very frustrated. He said, 'If I make this shot I'll buy us dinner tonight.' He hit and the ball rolled over the bump down through the grove around the short hill and up passed the cup and slowed. Just as it looked as though he had missed the put, the slope of the green helped and the ball rolled back into the cup. He made a great shot. Not to be outdone the lady tried to line up her shot. She said, 'If I make this shot I'll invite you to my place for drinks after dinner." The guy interrupted her put saying, "Wait! Let me help you line up the shot." He walked all over the green trying to find the groove. He suddenly smiled walked over to the ball, grabbed it up and said, "That is a gimmy if I ever saw one.""

Funny Golf joke

"Two Scottish golfers are just about to putt out on the 16th green, which is adjacent to a road, when suddenly a funeral procession passes by. Whereupon one of the golfers, Mr. McGregor, interrupts his putting, takes off his hat and bows to the procession. His partner says, 'That was really gentlemanly of you - paying your respects like that!' McGregor: 'Well, she WAS my wife for 25 years...'"

The Rules of Golf

The True Rules Of Golf

* Non chalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
* The shortest distance beween any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
* There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the
way you meant to play it.
* You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch
90% of the time.
* Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
* If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
* To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph."

Slow golfers are ahead

Slow golfers are ahead: "Slow golfers are ahead of us
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. 'Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,' complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked 'what's wrong?' It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired'"

Golf in the Bedroom

Rules of Play

Each player shall provide his own equipment - normally one club and
two balls.
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out of the
hole.
For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are
permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is
satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in
denied permission to play
the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course.
The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire
course, with special
attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently
playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have
been known to
damage a player's equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
protection.
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly
when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players
have been known to
become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they
considered to be a private
course.
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be
embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.
Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find
alternate means of play
at this time.
Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before
attempting to play the
back nine.
Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker
pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the
same course several
times in one month.

Golf hooking shots

It's the day after the wedding. The groom steps out of the bedroom, golf bag over his shoulder.
"Honey," he says, "I've got a confession to make. I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season."
The bride nods her head understandingly. "I've also got a confession to make, darling. I'm a hooker."
"No big deal," says the husband. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight."

Naked golfing

An avid golfer is lining up on the 17th tee. All of a sudden, a naked woman comes running out of the woods. She sprints across the green and disappears into the woods on the opposite side. The golfer smiles, shrugs, shifts his feet and bears down on the ball again. In the middle of his backswing, a guy in a white coat runs out of the woods.
"Excuse me," he says. "You didn't perhaps see a naked lady running past here?"
"Yes," says the golfer, pointing into the woods. "She went that-a-way."
The guy in the white coat thanks him and runs off. The golfer gets back to business.
At the height of his swing, he's interrupted again. It's another guy in a white cat. But this one is carrying a big red bucket full of sand.
"Excuse me," says the guy. "You didn't perhaps see a man in a white coat passing this way, running after a naked lady?"
"Yes," says the golfer, "They went that-a-way."
The guy thanks him, and prepares to dash off. But the golfer stops him. "Would you mind telling me what's going on around here?" he asks.
The guy explains. "You see, we work at the sanatorium up there on the hill. Every now and again, this woman manages to escape. All she wants to do is get naked and make love.
"Oh," says the golfer. "Well, what's the bucket of sand for?"
"The bucket of sand? That's my handicap," says the guy in the white coat. "I caught her last time!"

hard days golf

The golfer's wife is frantic. It's been hours since he went out to play his weekly round of golf. Two hours is okay, three hours is pushing it. But eight hours?
She's about to call the police, when her husband walks through the door and collapses on the couch.
"What took you so long?" she yells. "I've been frantic with worry!"
The husband catches his breath and says, "Let me tell you what happened. There we were at the fourth tee. Harry hits this magnificent drive. Then he keels over and dies on the spot. Heart attack."
"Oh no!" says his wife. "That's terrible!"
"You're darn right," says the husband. "All day long, it's been hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."

Sand trap

A golfer slouches into the clubhouse after a particularly bad round. "Looks like you had a pretty rough day," says the pro. "You bet I did," sighs the golfer. "The best two balls I hit all day, was when I was coming out of the sand trap and stepped on the rake!"